Episode 19
When a school closes, the loss is real for students, families, educators, and the neighborhoods around them. In this conversation, Beth, Abby, Seth, and Kobe talk about what happens inside us after news like this and how to move through it with care and intention.
We name what grief can look like, why uncertainty fuels anxiety, and how timely information helps. We also explore how leaders and receiving schools can welcome displaced staff and students with true attunement, plus practical supports you can use right away.
In this episode:
• Recognizing grief and why it is not a straight line
• Managing anxiety when details are unclear
• Attunement and validation for colleagues and families
• Everyday supports like journaling, movement, connection, and gratitude
• Guidance for educators and parents visiting potential new schools
• A mindset of autonomy and choice in the middle of change
Have a question or a story to share? Send it in and we may include it in a future episode.
Track 2:
[0:09] Welcome back, everybody. Thank you for joining us. We have Beth, Abby, Seth, and myself here.
Track 2:
[0:16] Derek just skipped out again. I think he just takes recess all the time. I'm not sure what his story is. But anyway, we wanted to kind of hit the ground running a little bit with some recent events that are happening here in our school district around school closures. And I just wanted to talk a little bit about navigating school closures emotionally and the impact of that.
Track 1:
[0:39] Yeah and i i just kind of want to take a second i think this will be the first time that we've had you back on and you have a new podcast that is starting up unmuted brains that'll be on our network how do you guys feel about that i'm.
Track 3:
[0:56] So excited abby and i have talked about a podcast and what it could look like and down to the planning years ago logos yeah yeah And couldn't get it off the ground. So we're so grateful for this opportunity.
Track 4:
[1:10] Yeah, it feels like a dream come true. So we are learning like what this world looks like. One thing that we know we're really good at is talking. So I don't think that's going to be the issue. But we're just excited to be able to kind of like share some of our experience, some of our knowledge, and then just learn from you guys when we're in that place together and kind of look at some of these ways that the brain impacts our everyday lives, schools and work and relationships, because there's quite a bit to unpack there.
Track 3:
[1:46] Yeah, it's exciting.
Track 2:
[1:47] That is good.
Track 1:
[1:48] And it's great that we have you guys today because we're talking about the emotional impacts of school closures and events like this for not only students, but for teachers and then the community around that, around that school or that event. And I think you're going to have some valuable insight that I think me and Kobe and Derek have all been kind of talking about of like Kobe's experienced it. And, you know, this is going to be a different one. It's different. And how does that affect our bodies? And how does that affect the new communities that these students are then put in, the teachers are then put in, and that the community that that school is now leaving a hole for? So let's kind of start getting into that.
Track 2:
[2:40] Yeah, thanks, Seth. I've just been really reflecting on that because the emotions of school closures kind of came back when I heard that announcement. And so that floods in. And I know that I have some colleagues, teachers, families, students. When we lived and walked through that, that was a hard time. And I think as a leader, you kind of shoulder some things in that and not really know how everybody's connection. So, you know, I'm kind of leaning on you ladies today. That has to be, there's a threshold or a, I don't know, like when you have a loss, when you move into a new home, when you, you know, what is that when you lose possibly the community that you've been tied to for a while?
Track 2:
[3:31] So talk to us a little bit about that.
Track 4:
[3:33] One of the things that I was thinking about when kind of ruminating on this idea of school closure was the circuit of panic and grief and is literally one of those unconscious systems that comes in. And originally it's like, if you think about in a mammal, when your mom, the mom goes away and it's this way of like the system goes, wait a minute, that doesn't feel like we know it. It's different from the routine. And so I. And vocalize to get that connection back. So it really is this sense of missing connection, missing relationship, which grief is just one of those things where anytime there is change, I think we see grief as like, well, we only look at that like if there's something major and death is usually the word that we associate with grief. But that's really what we're talking about here when there's a loss in your community and this system changes and is no longer available to the people who have used it and been part of it and felt maybe even seen heard and validated by it, can be detrimental it can really be like an actual physical pain you might feel or just that experience of, like, true loss.
Track 3:
[4:59] And I'm thinking about teachers, particularly who, you know, hear news early on in the year about a school closure, and it can be low-grade and high-grade anxiety, knowing, You know, what I thought was a sure thing, like coming back next year, starting over, that we do as educators and kind of have that in our back pocket. And when it's not there, the rug's pulled out from under you and there's a sense of now what? What will this mean? What will this mean for moving to a new place? I like this place. These are my people. These are my systems. This is the way I understand how this works. I don't want to start over. Or what will it be like to start over? Will I get another job? Will they be able to fill all of us into other buildings? And will I get along with those people? So many questions related to the unknown that pop up and you can continue to do your daily work. But like that's under the surface and it's probably not that far under the surface, you know, and especially as the year goes on and news comes out of the process and what's official and not, you know, you get maybe more and more heightened anxiety.
Track 2:
[6:13] I love what you're saying there, because I think that's some of the things that I observed as we were making the transition I knew kind of early on. So we would put the kids on the bus. We went to the new school. We visited it, trying to let them know that this will be the new home.
Track 3:
[6:27] Right.
Track 2:
[6:27] A new school next year. So I didn't want any kids to be surprised about what that might look like. And that was a unique situation because we were going into a brand new home. No one was in it before, but little did I know that there was going to be a lot of other school closures that would feed into the new home. And when you think of it that way as a new home, when you bring a baby home from the hospital is the same thing. Everybody has to make some adjustments to the not sleeping and, you know, the schedule change and all of those things. I just remember watching teachers.
Track 2:
[7:09] They dedicate so much of themselves to the craft. And then to feel like that rug, like you mentioned, the rug been pulled out from underneath you. And it was the constant, well, where am I going to be? What grade am I going to teach? And I had to keep saying, you've got a job. Well, that's fine. But in my mind, too, I'm not one that really likes things done to me. I'd like to have some voice and choice in that. And so when those school closures happened, I think, especially for teachers and, you know, when they do hear, that impacts the education from now till May.
Track 2:
[7:52] And because they're thinking in their brain, where am I going to end up? What's going to happen? What's this going to look like? Am I going to get to teach the same grade? Am I even going to be philosophically aligned into the next building? I'm going to be assigned to if I get assigned or do I have to interview? What is this all going to look like? And I think that's probably the most that makes us crazy, right, is the not knowing.
Track 3:
[8:15] Right.
Track 2:
[8:16] And the crazy making that we do.
Track 3:
[8:17] Yeah. That sense of safety is disrupted. At least what's familiar. And that's so scary.
Track 2:
[8:25] Yeah.
Track 1:
[8:25] So we struggled with this for a while because we had, A little bit of insider knowledge on that this was potential and the conversation of, okay, well, do we talk about it? You know, is this going to be more detrimental to talk about it, put it out there this early on than it will, you know, if we just stay quiet. We ultimately decided to move forward with it because we thought one of the biggest issues that we have with our school system, not when I say our, I mean nationally, the national school system, not our particular district, is that we aren't fed information early. We don't have the autonomy to make choices and to have conversations that are directly affecting us. And I want to point out that like in the U.S., education is one of maybe two career paths that you can go into where you don't have the autonomy to choose your job. I mean, you choose your profession.
Track 1:
[9:31] The level, the grade level, the school, the classroom that you're in is not necessarily your decision. The only other one that I can think of is the military. I mean, other than that, every other career path that you go to, you have way more autonomy. You can pick where you want to work. You can see the environment. You can see where you're going to be. And so we have a society now that we've said, okay, this is where you're going to be. Those educators have then gone in and adapted to that environment. And now we're now saying that place is no longer there. That's not for you anymore. We're going to move you somewhere else. And then that stress, that trauma, that.
Track 3:
[10:18] It's so stressful.
Track 1:
[10:19] Yeah. Like it's just all of that comes up because, again, we're people that love autonomy, right? Now we're in a situation six months down the road where we're going to have somebody tell us where we go and tell us what we're teaching and the grade level.
Track 3:
[10:38] And who we're teaching with. And that's such an important point, Seth, because, man, you get, you get to apply for what's available. But especially, I'll just speak to elementary school, it is so varied from kindergarten to fifth grade. So a teacher who has developed their craft in a grade level, which takes a lot of time and energy, being, you know, going into a new school building that has a first grade opening, for example, I have no idea if that's true or not, but you don't get to just say, I taught fifth grade, I'd like to be in fifth grade, and that's a guaranteed. It's probably not. So the adjustment that has to be made in learning, the learning curve is so steep, and every teacher would tell you that there's probably some beautiful things that can come of that. So much anxiety and intensity. And you know, before you even get started, how much work is ahead of you.
Track 4:
[11:41] Yeah, it can be really intimidating.
Track 2:
[11:42] Because by the third year, you kind of start feeling comfortable in a grade level. By that third year, you're like, OK, I kind of understand the standards. I love the kids or, you know, I love this age. And then when you get told, oh, you've been teaching fifth grade for four years, we're going to put you in kindergarten. What that and that's a whole different developmental thing to wrap around your head, everything about those little humans coming in as a whole special individual too but as I've been thinking about this I just you know to reflect on it and and say well if I could do it all over again I don't know that I want to do it all over again I'll just say that, but I don't regret doing it there was a lot of growth in it and so with that there comes some wisdom so I feel like this would be an opportunity to just kind of talk about this is a time for teachers to really be thinking what do they want and take control of their life rather than the worry of what someone's going to do to you right.
Track 4:
[12:52] And I would say a couple things came to mind anxiety needs information.
Track 2:
[12:57] Yes so.
Track 4:
[12:58] When you're saying you know seth about like let's talk about this it's actually probably more helpful to start talking about it now because if we just pretend like nothing's happening and then all of a sudden the reality hits in march or whenever you find out your fte and when.
Track 2:
[13:15] You're going to where.
Track 4:
[13:16] You're going to be placed and having been a teacher in that place where you're like do i have a spot here next year, that's a reality. And even in some districts where you're like, I'm not sure, will that teacher choose to come back? And now I don't have a place. So if I don't have the information about where I'm going, what's happening, then you will just create the sky is the limit for scenarios, right? And And that is what kind of creates this anxious, like, worry.
Track 4:
[13:49] So ideally, those teachers, and I know there's some circumstances that we can't control, like what positions are available. And it kind of depends on who's retiring and there's lots of shifting. So you can't know all that. But one thing that a district could do is, like, give as much information that you can as soon as possible. Because people are going to talk about it whether you've actually made an official statement or not and like that's how rumors work so let's just start trying to know that like these this puts everybody in a in a tricky spot and we want to give you information that you can use that's actually true whether or not that information is helpful or is what i want to do that's not really the most important part. It's just that I need to know. Not knowing, I would rather, and the brain, the system, would rather have some information than none because I'll just make up a scenario and then I'm going to be in trouble. The other thing that came to mind was attunement. So you have people who are going to be, there's just a ton, I mean, we talked about grief and loss, and originally this system, like circuit system, was...
Track 4:
[15:08] For pain. And it has like shifted, evolutionarily speaking, to like emotional pain. So recognizing that that's what people are going through is this disconnection is painful. It's a difficult time. And when you're looking at switching, like you were saying, I'm not just switching to maybe a different grade level and that it's going to affect me for the next six months or till this year is out, I'm looking at actually not being in the groove that I might have felt for four years or, you know, like, and it could be more than that. Like, it's a pretty big disruption. It's more than just knowing like, yes, we will close the school or not. It's that now I am going to have to shift and learn. And that potentially means relearning or learning for the first time,
Track 4:
[16:00] a grade level, a community, an environment that's brand new. So there's going to be a lot of like brainstem, emotional state things.
Track 4:
[16:10] People out there who are just kind of like trying to respond the very best that they know how. Attunement looks like my, like this is the thing that we do when you walk into a room and you can tell you read someone's face and you can decide if I'm safe with that person. It also has to do with recognizing and validating just how it feels for people. So if you are the spouse, the sister, the mother the principal the community of somebody who you know is in this transition just helping to recognize that what they feel is okay and it is true for them even if it's frustration anger like all of those things need to be okay now i'm not saying that i'm just saying like they need to be able to feel like yes this is a big deal and it's this hurtful situation can Can we control it? No, you're not in control. But if I don't have anybody attuning and saying, what you feel, I see you, I hear you, what you feel is real to you, like...
Track 4:
[17:17] Then I literally am going to, like, my behavior will be responsive to whether or not somebody noticed me. So, I mean, that could be a super resentful situation. Or you come into a new transition and you feel bitter and angry and you stay bitter and angry because nobody, like, validated this is hard. We recognize that we're asking you to do something. We, the powers that be, the people who are around you, we recognize that you're in a situation that feels out of control. And the minute I'm not in control, my stress response system kicks on because it needs a sense of control. So just recognizing that for people with empathy and support can be really really helpful i know this is you're going to start a new journey that is the loss of maybe and hopefully a system and community that was good for you or at least it was predictable if nothing else and move into some unknown. That's hard. And to also recognize for yourself, if you are someone who's in that transition time, is that it's okay to have your journey not be linear. Your grief doesn't have to be like, I've moved through the five stages, because that's not typically how grief works.
Track 4:
[18:40] Some days I am just functioning and I've pushed it aside. Some days it is very heavy and right in my face. And some days I feel like I might be able to handle what's happened to me.
Track 1:
[18:50] So we've We're talking about grief right now. There are those five stages. Can we talk about what that's going to look like for people that are going through this or what might that look like? I understand that it's not always going to present the same way, but what are some things that they can start recognizing to say, hey, I might be I might be here now?
Track 3:
[19:10] I was just going to say, Kobe, what did you notice in your staff when there was that big transition? Did you notice?
Track 2:
[19:17] Well, it was interesting because... I can't say we had time. So we had some time to process. We had I had meetings. We talked even ahead of time. Like, do you want to have it done to you or do you want to do it? Like, do we just move into this new school or do you want to just be in this limbo of it's going to get done to us? Yeah, that that kind of went through my brain. But I can tell you then when we were in the building, that's when I was noticing it the most. When we moved into the new home, then it was a lot of, well, we didn't do it back there like that. And this wasn't like this. And how come that, you know, there was a lot of that happening. And then as the merging happened, you know, the relationships shifted significantly with who the team partners were. You know, some of the children from the other schools didn't know any of the teachers. There were some teachers that were familiar. So we tried to, you know, partner them up. And, you know, you would see those shifts. But that, I mean, you know, I talked to another colleague. That went on for a year after. So you talk about the stages of grief. You can't put a time limit on that. And I think everybody moved through it very differently. And some people, I don't know, there's some people that still haven't, they're still hanging on to the old school saying, I wish we never would have moved.
Track 3:
[20:43] Right.
Track 2:
[20:44] So.
Track 3:
[20:45] Yeah, and I'm imagining grief. Anger being one of the first responses to hearing that something that is reliable and dependable is going away, right? Like, what? Shock and anger.
Track 3:
[20:57] And then, like, there's a lot of, you know, frustration, like Abby was saying, because it feels so out of control.
Track 3:
[21:04] And there's something that feels invalidating about it, even though it might not be you're not doing well. And it could just be your enrollment numbers are very low which teachers can't control enrollment not right you know that's not really in their power of influence but it feels yucky you know so it it's like this if we'd only done it more or better why us you know like there's a lot of confusion and and some heartbreak too and and some like are we good enough like it can really challenge our sense of who we are, yeah, our sense of worth and what we offer to the world of education, even though that's not the direct thing that's happening, right?
Track 3:
[21:54] Like that's, the school is closing for other reasons, but there's something very personal because education is very personal experience. Like as a teacher, what you craft and what you create and what you, the energy you put into the space is extremely personal and anything that bumps that feels like it's it bumps us right it bumps who we are yeah it can be really difficult to put those two things to separate you know who i am and and what i do right because teachers don't often do that right because because we care so much about what we're doing and so there's like that sense of rejection, betrayal.
Track 3:
[22:38] I'm imagining just absolute confusion, right? What's going to happen? That's anxiety. But I like what you said, Kobe, about... When you kind of are aware of where you're at in the process of all of those emotions that you could be experiencing and they're not going to come one at a time, they might be coming all at once, right? Like, really evaluating what you want.
Track 2:
[23:04] Right?
Track 3:
[23:05] It's okay to decide what you want to do. And if you want to change, and what could that change look like?
Track 2:
[23:12] Well, and I think that's the thing is you can get caught up in, I don't know the word I want to use here, but you can get caught up in having
Track 2:
[23:21] yourself feeling like it's being done to you.
Track 3:
[23:25] Right.
Track 2:
[23:26] When in reality, you're in it, you're in the system that's doing something, but you don't have to stay in it. There's so many opportunities, but I know I'm going to hear listeners are going to say, but I, you know, I've got four more years and my pension and because I'd be saying that. Right. But you have to get to a point of saying, is this is this something I want to sit in or is this my chance now to create something really wonderful for me? Because it's a different door that could be opening. So not looking at it like it's done to you when there's a lot of aspects that are. And I think there's just some nuances in this, you know, as we're kind of unraveling, like how come stakeholders aren't sitting at the seat? When you say the quicker the information and being a part of it, but when you're not a part of it and you're hearing gossip and you're hearing bits and pieces and then you're the would have, the could have, the should have, that makes it harder. So I'm just thinking of different processes. If more schools are going to be closing, then how are we engaging people to be a part of solving the problem? And helping fix the problem. And not everybody wants to be in that. But at the same time, I think just really taking control of yourself and not blaming. Because once you get into the blaming, you're never really reflecting on what could be better for you.
Track 1:
[24:55] Well, and we have done a really good job thinking cognitively of who the people we're bringing onto this podcast are, because I do feel like our system is set up to indoctrinate individuals coming in with the belief that this is all you can do. There is no other option. So, I mean, something that we haven't really ever stated is like, we do think very clearly about who we're bringing on because we want to show that there are other options. Educators are always in this mindset of, well, I'm an educator. This is all I can do. This is all I know. My skills won't translate, you know, to another system.
Track 2:
[25:48] Well, and I love you bring that up, Seth, because now we're sitting at the table with five, I mean, Derek's on recess, but we have all literally jumped out of education to go do something else. Now, it might be a different piece of education or it might be business or an entrepreneurial path, whatever it is. But I think education has a good way of kind of locking you in. And I think we can all sit around the table saying we decided to make a different choice in how that could look for us. Each of our journeys are very different in that, but it's taking control of knowing that you are in control of you. It's not the system. So I don't know. I just think that's a big piece.
Track 3:
[26:33] It's a huge piece, at least, and I can only speak to me. And I want it to be very clear to listeners that I love being an educator. I am not a teacher currently, but I will always be an educator. And I was so proud of the work I did. And so leaving was more about.
Track 3:
[26:56] Moment of being empowered for myself. And as you were saying, Kobe, earlier about how we respond to what sort of feels like it's being done
Track 3:
[27:06] to us, it really comes down to what you decide to do for yourself. Because the system, I'm not trying to say the system is terrible, but it's just not made to help every individual person. That's why it's called a system. It's the overarching thing. but within it we have people and you have to decide how you want to move forward and you are the only one with if you've got some good support that helps too but ultimately the only one who can make that decision so for me i think at one point i said like what else yeah and i definitely felt the stuckness yeah too of like i don't know what else i can do but now that i am not in education and Abby is even in education and can still speak to being able to do more and different and what else it can be like and my husband has hired I think two or three former educators and they are the best people he has on staff because they have so much incredible skill to offer the workforce so I'm not advocating leaving education or staying in it I'm just advocating for.
Track 3:
[28:21] Looking in to yourself and figuring out what do I want if it's go to a new school and I'm I can handle that do it and know that you're making that choice so.
Track 2:
[28:34] That's exactly I mean can I say it a different way.
Track 3:
[28:37] Sure well.
Track 1:
[28:37] Go ahead can I is it you're advocating for having the autonomy to decide, what path is right for you.
Track 3:
[28:47] Absolutely. Yeah.
Track 2:
[28:48] Yeah. I think you get stuck in it though, you know, after 31 years, but I just had finally realized for myself, it was my time. It's my time to go. This is, I'm there, there was nothing more I could do to change anything. And that's what I'm saying is I am a creative. I'm still young at heart. There's still many things I wanted to accomplish. And I feel like I, you know, I echo what Beth was saying is I, I loved education and I will always be an educator too. And I love the people that are doing it. Their heart is in the right place. I, I just know that sometimes we do, I don't know if it's pigeonhole, but you definitely get yourself stuck into something. And when you start complaining and whining and moaning, you know, that's kind of an indication you need a shake, a wake up call of some kind, whether that whether that is a retreat and leave for a bit and come back or a complete and utter change. But I just think about this situation with a school closure is a little bit different because it's kind of happening to you. And so then you're like, oh, you're it's almost for me, it was a little bit of a free fall. Because like I said, I want to have some say in how's this going to look for me.
Track 2:
[30:08] And I felt like there was a lot of teachers that felt that same way, but couldn't have the say. They just knew they were going to have the job. And I mean, I delivered that message many times, you have a job. And it was exhausting because as a principal, you're holding that up, but you're helping the parents deal with it. You're helping the kids deal with it. You're helping the teachers deal with it. And you really, some of those choices were a little bit constrained as what kind of response you can get. So I love what you were saying, Abby, is like, you just be there and be somebody to show up to listen, to say, yeah, this isn't easy. This is kind of hard.
Track 4:
[30:46] And I was thinking as you guys were talking just about like.
Track 4:
[30:50] Just if you are in that situation where you're like in a school and it is closing, that it's okay to just recognize like, I'm really angry right now and just be curious about that. Why are you angry? Well, I'm angry because X, Y, Z. And then when you move to like, maybe even I feel out of control or I'm feeling whatever it is that you're feeling like, just start to recognize that and just. Let it be okay where you are. We don't have to assign judgment to your grief process, right? Like, it's okay to be where you're at. You're responsible for how you respond. But it's okay to acknowledge, I am angry. I feel like this is happening to me. And then just allow yourself to kind of move with anger. And my guess is that the more time you spend just being curious about where am I at how is this impacting me that in the end if you are willing to kind of go in and and be reflective as you move through this process I think it will help you on the other side to feel empowered because you've just given yourself some time to recognize and and be okay with like okay yeah I mean it makes sense that I'm upset. It makes sense that I'm scared about where I'm moving. It makes sense that I'm nervous about the people that I'm going to be with.
Track 4:
[32:20] Journaling is a really great exercise to help connect those parts of your brain that are speech and writing, because I have to like really kind of conceptualize how I even want to lay out the sentence. And even if you just are kind of dumping your thoughts. Like, it's helpful to have a place for those thoughts to go because they're energy. Worry creates energy in your body. Frustration and anger create energy in your body. And if I don't let them...
Track 4:
[32:50] Somehow, either I'm talking with a friend, I'm exercising, I would say, pay attention to those things for yourself right now, because not allowing that like nervous tension to have a place to go will just be stored in your body, which that's not good for later on. It looks like, you know, I mean, it has physical implications. It has stroke, heart attacks, it impacts your relationships.
Track 4:
[33:19] So like being really aware of like, okay, this is, this is something that I'm
Track 4:
[33:23] going through, even changing your perspective as like, this is something that I'm going to go through. Yeah. It's not necessarily happening. It is happening to you, but it is about how you posture yourself towards it. And that is not to take light of this big transition that you're in. And also recognize it's a loss. So I'm allowed to grieve and mourn the community, the place, even just the predictability of what happened in my school. And I feel like you just, as you are curious and move through kind of some of those, maybe it's not specific grief stages, but just as you move through this transition, you could actually show up into a grade level and have done some really reflective thinking about the process you were just in and be in better shape than if you just ignore it or leave it or just feel like it is happening. Happening to you and then kind of pile on.
Track 2:
[34:26] So I love that. And I think another strand that was kind of popping up in my head about, you know, I hate to use the word self-care. I think it's just kind of almost, I don't know. Truly, I think that would be a time that you have to tap into that, the exercise, the nourishment, the connecting with people that are going to be somewhat positive and lift you up. I always have found that gratitude is a nice tethering back, too, because it can pull you back into joy rather quickly. And when you can be in joy, again, that's an energy and vibration all itself that can help you look at the situation in a much different thing. And it's simple, you know, just if it's a gratitude of five gratitudes in the evening where you just say the sun was beautiful today. Boy that joke that that little boy told me today you know just those pieces can turn that so quickly and to get you out of that negative loop.
Track 4:
[35:29] Yeah so we say what you focus on you get more of yeah and that literally is true for your brain too what fires together wires together so basically like medicine for the neuroscientists out there like i realize that that is a very you know boiled down version of what's actually happening but it literally means like when i am paying attention to it the the thing that i'm looking for i will get more of it just works that way so if i can start to say and you'll say but but if i start practicing gratitude then it will mean that the pain or i have to ignore it or no you can have both yeah i can grieve and i can be sad and i can be angry and I can also be really thankful. And it might be a really kind of cathartic exercise to start looking at your building and saying, who or what am I thankful for while I'm here and I have this time? And just making some tiny shifts. And it's okay to make two steps forward and one step back. You're just working on just being really aware of how is this transition impacting me.
Track 1:
[36:46] I want to just take a second and circle back to something that we talked about first. It's having that, the more information that you can have, the better. One of the things that throughout this whole school closure we've been ignoring is that these students, these teachers, these administrators are going to be going somewhere. And if you're a teacher in a school that is not closing, you may be in a situation where you're welcoming in a large population of people that are now have been displaced. And that is going to be impactful for you as well. It may stir up emotions. It may cause anxiety and stress. and those things are valid to be experiencing.
Track 1:
[37:39] Knowing that now can help you prepare for that coming in in the future. You may be in a school that is operating at 60% capacity and next year you're coming in at 100% capacity and have never seen a school with that many people in it. And that's going to be different. And so all of these things that we're talking about can also, all of these skills, all of these things, these recognizing, naming the emotions, all of those can also be beneficial to you while also having that opportunity to recognize where these people are at. And, you know, they have been displaced. This is new for them. And while it's new for you, it's also new for them and recognizing that. I just want to bring that to the forefront of, you know, if you're a teacher and you're listening to this and you're thinking, thank God I'm safe, thank God nothing is changing for me.
Track 1:
[38:42] That may not necessarily be true. Things may even shift. I mean, that's something that you should start thinking about now, planning. And so that way, if and when it does happen, or if or when it does happen, it's not an immediate new thing that's happened. You've thought, you've planned, you've got some kind of strategies to kind of get through that.
Track 4:
[39:10] For sure. And to recognize that like every system, it's not just like you were
Track 4:
[39:17] saying, Seth, it's not just the buildings that are shutting down. It's the new buildings that are welcoming them in. That there's this, hopefully, a sense of responsibility that I always think about it like with the stages of a group. Now we have to reform. We have to re-norm and storm and those stages that we work in in group therapy because we're not the same group of people that we were before. And that's okay. Because while even in that change, there's loss of systems that we knew before. Let's say we're at full capacity now. That has to shift and look different. So you're right. Examining, like, for me in a school that isn't closing, but may potentially get some people who they'll be called displaced, which never feels great. How can we... Set up an environment that feels like this is your new home. And we're really glad you're here.
Track 3:
[40:17] That's one thing that was coming to my mind. Do you remember when we first joined the school that we joined where we finally got to teach together and the administrator, it was a very small staff. And in one of the very first meetings at the beginning of the year, they had an announcer, announce all the new people who were joining the staff as if we were like, you know, professional athletes and kind of like list off our accolades and it felt very cool to be to what it felt like was you were being an honored member of the team and that you were already bringing something to the table that didn't have to be discovered over time it was like hey look at I have some value here I have some some stake I've been hired to be in this place but it was also the stance of the people who were receiving us the new people to them and like yay we're so glad you're here and we can build something so much better with you know all this variety that we now have and like if you could create that with your staff this year as opposed to being maybe the victim or oh you know they're all going to come here and it's going to screw us up and we have the way we like it but what.
Track 1:
[41:35] About our culture.
Track 3:
[41:36] Right right like but a way of like how do we make these people whoever they are whenever you find out who they are like feel like they belong in this place and that we have we're sure enough in who we are that we can make adjustments to invite you in and that would feel so different going in to a new building knowing that you have a lot of work ahead of you, That you were just wanted.
Track 4:
[42:00] And you are valued for the expertise that you brought from where you were before. Even if I was a fifth grade teacher and now I'm teaching kindergarten to know, like, oh, you see me. You value me.
Track 3:
[42:14] Yeah, you see me.
Track 4:
[42:15] That experience that I went through that was really hard and felt kind of like it was happening to me. I'm now in a place that feels like I have something new to offer them and they're, like, here for it. Like that could feel extremely validating under the circumstances that could be the opposite of that or have the potential to feel like you're just displaced and will be put somewhere.
Track 1:
[42:40] I want to just mention one more thing and then we can kind of start closing. I'm going to use a plain analogy of you've got to put your mask on first. You got to bring yourself back to equilibrium and that as a teacher who's been displaced, that's figuring out what that looks like, getting into the new space, understanding and figuring out what systems that you need to get yourself back as a teacher or an administrator that's welcoming, figuring out how that's going to look and getting you back to a space that's normal first. But we also have to recognize that there are a lot of students now that are also going to be displaced, that are also coming into a new environment. And we also need to do those same things with those students that might look a little bit different, but they also need to feel welcome. They also need to know that they're wanted and that they're valued at this new place.
Track 3:
[43:41] I just recently saw a little reel on Instagram about a principal speaking about other principals who say, I just, I'm here for the kids, and they spend all their time with the kids. And his perspective was, you're here for the teachers, and then the teachers are here for the kids. So a little bit about what you've already said, Abby, the attunement and what we've talked about, taking care of yourself first. I think a leadership who took care of their teachers in a way that made them feel so good would automatically create a building where students come and feel it. And it would be part of the culture and the atmosphere. But it's like, you know, we talk a lot about this, Abby and I do, that you have to regulate yourself. Before you're going to be, and if you're not doing that, it doesn't matter what
Track 3:
[44:31] kind of lesson plans and how fantastic the school is. You can sing all the uniting songs and do all of the uniting activities for the kids that you want, and you have a divided staff. You will feel the divide. So you have to have the adults with what they need first, and then the kids can get it. But I think sometimes, especially in elementary school, we definitely have that flip.
Track 2:
[44:56] Well, and I think, too, with this happening is parents and kids need to get out. They need to start visiting schools. If you're in that boat, you need to go from school to school. You need to go meet the leader. You need to go be in the building and let your child feel that. You feel it. If you can feel it and it feels good, that's probably the place you want to have your child land. And get some feedback from your kids because your kids are a great barometer of being able to feel that energy in a building. They'll know right away if it's going to be their new little home for a while. I just know that learning, kids in their learning cycle do so much better when they can feel that place of security and safety and that connection.
Track 2:
[45:42] And walking into a school, you can know that immediately. That's just one thing. And I mean, I'm just saying as a parent, I used to do that with my boys when we had to make that transition into junior high and then junior high into high school. You go walk those buildings. You go talk, because I can tell you, especially if you're a parent with two or three children at the elementary school, it might not be the same school for all three. And that's okay. It's hard. It can sometimes be hard when you have to separate. But sometimes, I know for me, my three boys didn't go all to the same elementary school or to the same junior high. And that was just based on how they felt. So I think it's a really, really smart thing to do. Do your homework, go out and talk, and then don't feel the victim because then you're going to be able to make that choice.
Track 1:
[46:34] Yeah all right thanks.
Track 2:
[46:37] For joining us.
Track 1:
[46:38] Thank you guys so much thank you we are so excited to see what this podcast is going to bring absolutely exciting yeah it's going to be an amazing thing thank you guys so much yeah.
Track 3:
[46:50] Thank you yeah.
Track 1:
[46:51] Thank you next time bye.
Track 2:
[46:56] Oh that was a long night huh.